


Dear Diary

by Smallangryscot



Category: The Uniques (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Uniques Fanfic Contest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smallangryscot/pseuds/Smallangryscot
Summary: Entries from Shawn's diary (referenced in "we were family") as he grows up & becomes Countryman. It follows him maturing, & his personality changing as the pressures of life & (though he fights) the influence of the man in the shadows take their toll.By: Smallangryscot
Relationships: Shawn Redman|Countryman/Bill Carter
Kudos: 3





	Dear Diary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Comfort & Adam](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Comfort+%26+Adam).



> Welcome one welcome all! There are lots of sneaky references to episodes of "The Uniques" by Comfort & Adam throughout this story so I strongly recommend reading the series on "Webtoon" before starting. That is if you haven't already!
> 
> *important* If you can, please read as it is written grammatically, it greatly improves the flow of the story & some parts will seem awkward without it.
> 
> I love this relationship so much, it really impacted me, ended up making me cry, so I wanted to flesh out their story more❤️
> 
> & = and

Dear Diary

Got back to the flat at 1am today, not bad considering the amount of work that needed doing. Being Young American is tough but god knows it’s worth it! The inspiration Paul & I give to people, the hope for a better life! It’s exhilarating, seeing the crowds cheering us, the parades, it’s awesome, being so loved. D’ya know, I remember the face of every person we’ve helped? I’m sure I’ll lose track eventually, with us working all over; with  tonnes of other super powerful uniques to rescue people! (I’ve got most of their collector cards but I’m too shy to ask for autographs :p)

Of course there’s the gritty stuff, the fighting, seeing other human beings doing something so cruel it requires OUR intervention, is... crushing. It takes a toll on your morale, knowing that such people exist that can attack things like democracy & basic freedoms. Sometimes I wonder how Paul has endured it for so long, but I guess I’ll be the same one day. We’re fighting to stop terrorists & coups so I know it’s all for a good cause. 

Most of my time when I’m not on the job is spent with Bill, we’ve been dating in secret for almost a year now, I wonder what I should get him for our anniversary? It’s those moments with him, babysitting the kids or snuggling on the couch that get me through the tough jobs & the late nights. He’s always so positive, nothing brings him down, he never fails to smile, not even when Katie is going a mile-a-minute & it’s an hour past her bedtime. & god I LOVE him for it. Huh... that's the first time I’ve admitted I love him; how’s that for an anniversary gift? It makes me sad we can’t be more open but Bill understands, my commitment to the country comes before everything, even my happiness. I mean, what would the people think if they found out I’m a little spoon hmm? Aah, my head, maybe I’ve been writing too long, I should get some rest, my memory’s a bit foggy now that I think about it. Hmm... 

It’s an honor to be such a force for good, to uphold Americas values of freedom, equality & justice. I just hope I’ll make everyone proud, they’ve put such faith in me, helped me so much on my way.

I’ll do anything no to let them down.

Dear Diary

Cold War is still going. Tensions aren’t so high now though! Comrade & Paul have been hard at work trying to bring about peace. It’s been tough going & Paul is exhausted but seems pleased with the progress he’s made. I’m not allowed at the meetings just yet; but at functions, all Paul talks about is how “We’ll have peace by next summer!” 

I really am proud of the work he’s doing & I  know I’m helping with the background stuff, it just seems a  _ bit _ like they don’t trust me. I mean I’m Young American! I should be in there, learning, helping, I could make a  REAL difference; I’m not a secretary! I can do more than file papers & bring coffee. I feel,  useless . Ugh, this is silly, never mind. I  know , I’m being stupid. These are crazy important talks, literally making world peace! I should be grateful to even have a small part in it. After all, a machine is only held together by nuts & bolts. 

Besides, everyone I know says I need to better control my emotions, if I got mad at one of these talks... I could start a war! *Shudder* Did I seriously just write “shudder”, come ON Shawn, pull yourself together man.

I think I’ll call up Billy, see if he wants to meet. The day with him always calms me down, I can let my guard down, y’know? He likes my emotional side, says it’s what makes me human & he prefers dating a human. I know that emotions are a part of being human but in my line of work they can get in the way; hinder my ability to complete a mission. Uncle Jimmy always says “we’re more than our costumes & powers, you can’t forget that” It’s like an annoying catchphrase. (urgh, headache :|)

I know they’re just trying to help but they don’t get it! This system has set me up like a performer! I’ve got to do my job & I have to make it look good too!? And it’s not like it’s a pretty job! I have to fight people,  hurt people; it’s hard & I... I don’t love it like I used to. Sometimes I wish I could take a break, just for a week or two, a month tops; Bill ‘n I could go away somewhere. I could be me, show those emotions he loves. 

But the job comes first, always.

Dear Diary

18th of April 1994, a day the world will never forget; & the day I’ll never stop regretting.

I should’ve been there, I could’ve  done something! My brain knows it’s stupid, that I would’ve died along with the rest, along with Paul; but my heart won’t let me listen. Besides you had a mission, it wasn’t your fault they all tell me, but I hear what they say behind my back. The whispers; Lucky; Conspirator; heartless; doesn’t even cry... 

Oh, but I did cry, DO cry, for all of them; those were my  friends ! I knew most of them, I grew up with them. I took care of their kids. I  fought beside them! I should’ve died beside them too.

They found me in a field, covered in sweat ‘n blood, swore me in on the spot. It was horrible, people clapped but it all seemed… broken, hollow. No one wanted to be there & I’m not complaining, I didn’t want to be there either. I didn’t want to be doing that for at least another half century, ‘till Paul died of old age or somethin’ but that’s not how it works, that’s never gonna be how it works. So now I’m a 25-year-old with arguably the most important legacy in modern day America sitting UNcomfortably on my shoulders & no one will feel it’s weigh more deeply than I do because no one can help me bear it. 

Not even Bill. God this is going to kill me. They've already caught us together once & they're not happy. I could be putting him in danger! That **cannot** happen, I'll protect him if it takes everything I've got. I have to do this, for his sake. He can be happy without me, he can move on; find someone else. Someone, who can be with him out in the open, no matter what, who can support him & love him like he deserves. Someone better than me.

I have to do this alone. Completely.

Dear Diary

Ugh, slogged home through the rain at god-knows-when am  again today; it's my  _ favorite _ part about being Countryman. Don’t get me wrong, I  love helping people, being an emblem of hope, freedom & all that jazz but  god I feel like it's taking over my life! Ya know what, that’s an understatement; it IS my life. 

Every hour of every day I’m under a microscope, it seems everyone thinks it’s their “patriotic duty” to ensure I hold up what  they think America's values are. Thing is, most of these people don’t even come CLOSE to their own ridiculously high expectations! Yet they expect me to?! 

Agh! My head is pounding. Something happened as I left today, but I can’t remember what, it’s driving me crazy! It’s probably nothing, I don’t feel the need to dwell on it but still, it niggles at me. 

I need a drink. Ha, could you imagine the scandal? Countryman Shawn Redman found relaxing at a local bar like any normal person. I mean, there would be national outrage, not to mention the ads that would start popping up, “Countryman approved beer!”, “Countrymans favorite watering hole!”. Not good for “the brand” or so I’ve been told. It seems a lot of things I like aren’t, good for the brand. 

#1 on that list; Billy. God, I miss him. Everyday. All I want is to come home to his face, to sit by him watching a movie, to go out in public holding his hand in mine. Ah but “that’s not good for the brand Shawn”, “the country isn’t ready Shawn”, “it’s for the best Shawn”. Fuck Countryman, fuck reputation & FUCK THE BRAND. Let someone else do it, let someone else deal with the press, & the public & the missions, no no, don’t think about the missions, don’t think about the people, don’t think about the blood… so much blood. 

Urgh, my head, what is going on? Wait. What am I even saying; this is crazy talk, you’re  countryman ! A symbol for a better way of life! Leader of the most powerful superteam on earth! Your life is great, it’s everything anyone could want! 

It’s my duty to uphold the Countryman title, I was chosen, I’m the only one who can do it! I have to remember, it doesn’t  belong to me; I’m just maintaining it. For Isaac. For the future. 

It better be a damn good future.


End file.
